Lord of the Cats
by Silent Game
Summary: CATS The Jellicles descide to preform and film an extra special preformance. It's The Lord of the Rings, junkyard style, staring everyone's favorite conjuring cat. Misto, of course. :
1. Beginning

Lord of the Cats

__

By Wydinel Sheergale

Beginning

The Jellicle cats assembled in the junkyard gazed around curiously. It was unusual for them to all gather together at once, but here they were, and wondering why. Munkustrap stepped out from behind a car and a hush fell over the quietly conversing cats as all eyes turned to the silver tabby.

Munkustrap shuffled his feet, looking uncharacteristically nervous. He cleared his throat.

"Well, you're all probably wondering why I've called you here," he began, and the Jellicles nodded. "You all know the Jellicle ball is approaching and we, that is myself and Old Deuteronomy and some others, came up with the idea to do something special for Gus."

"Wot, loik a play?" asked Rumpleteazer.

Munku smiled. "Exactly! But something just a bit bigger and more extravagant than we usually do." He held up a very large stack of papers the cats only now noticed he had been holding "The Lord of the Rings," he declared proudly.

I long moment of silence followed, and then the cats all erupted into excited babble.

"I want to be Frodo!"

"I want to be Galadriel!"

"Will we get to dance?"

"Will we get to sing?"

"Who's Tugger going to be?"

"I want to be in lots of scenes with Tugger!"

Munkustrap groaned. The Rum Tum Tugger strode to the front and held up his hands for silence. The kittens squealed for a moment, then went quiet.

"All the parts have already been cast," said the silver tabby. "Everyone has a part, so you don't need to fight over them. Here, Misto, would you pass these out?"

The small black tom made his way to the front of the crowd and took the stack of papers from Munkustrap. He glanced at the top paper briefly, then looked up at the older tom, a worried expression on his face.

"Munku, are you sure this cast is right? I mean-"

Munkustrap looked at the cast list on top and smiled down at the magician. "I'm sure it will be fine. Just hand out the scripts."

Mistoffelees sighed, but proceeded to distribute the scripts to the assembly of eager cats.

Then the storm broke.

***

"I am _not_ going to play someone named Fatty!"

"It's just a nickname. It's short for Fredegar."

"My name is Cassandra, not Fredegar!"

"Well, maybe you can get them to call you Cassie instead."

The pretty Siamese pouted for a moment, then, "What part did you get, Exotica?"

The other queen smiled evilly. "I get to hold the camera."

"We're filming it?!"

***

Demeter sidled up to Munkustrap, purring slightly. "Nice job on the casting."

Munku smiled. "Thank you, but actually, I didn't cast it."

"Oh?" She looked slightly disappointed. "Who did?"

"You know," he replied thoughtfully, "I actually don't know."

"Well, they did a good job. There's only one problem."

"What's that?"

The queen pointed to her copy of the script. "How in Hevyside are we going to get Macavity to play his part?"

"Er… Well…"

His thoughts were interrupted as Jemima approached nervously. "Er, Munkustrap?"

The young queen was looking up at him nervously. "Yes, Jemima?"

"I was wondering if, well, if I might be able to switch parts with Tugger."

The silver tabby looked at her strangely. "Why ever would you want to trade parts with Tugger?"

She blushed furiously, murmured "Never mind," and slunk off.

***

"Oi, Teazah, looks loik we got ourselves the perfect coupla parts 'ere."

Rumpleteazer came up behind her partner. "Wot'id we get?" She peered over his shoulder, then burst out laughing. "This is gonna be fun!"

***

Munkustrap was now having a conversation with a small group of his performers. "Now," he said to Alonzo, Electra, Skimbleshanks, Pouncival, and Asparagus, "Your parts don't come up until later, so I'll expect you all to help out with our sets and props, and so on, as well as giving Exotica a hand with the filming. I'm sure Misto will take care of the special effects."

Skimble raised a paw. "Ah couldn't help but noticin' that yev given quite a few lads' parts t'the lasses."

Munkustrap nodded. He had given up trying to explain that he neither had cast the parts nor knew who had. "We've had to make a few changes so we have enough actors, and so all our queens have parts. They don't seem too upset about it… For the most part," he added silently to himself.

***

Rum Tum Tugger forced himself to read over the cast list again. It was still the same. Some of the choices were all right but… He shook his head. Whoever made it must have been on some serious catnip. What had they been thinking when they cast him, the one and only Rum Tum Tugger, as a short, chubby, Hobbit gardener? He skipped to near the end of the script and grinned. Oh well. At least he got to mate with Bomba at the end. He let his thoughts delve deeply into what that could involve.

The curious cat's imaginings were cut short by the presence on a young queen at his side.

"Hullo, Jemima." He fluffed his mane. "What can I do for you?"

"Er," she fidgeted with her tail, "You don't really think you're part is quite right for you, do you?" she asked nervously.

"Well, not really, but I suppose it's all right. The Tugger can do anything." He grinned, but then he noticed her nervous fidgeting. "Why?"

"Well, I was wondering if, er, maybe we could, well, switch parts." She stared at the ground.

That surprised him. "And you want to switch parts with me, why?"

A blush began spreading across the young queens face. "I just-" she sighed. "It's just that, if I had your part, I'd get to be with someone…"  
Tugger looked at her, baffled, for a few moments, then a very disturbing thought entered his mind. "You want my part so you can mate with Bomba?!"

Jemima's head snapped up, her face bright red. "No! Of course not!"

"Then what-" He sighed. He wasn't getting anywhere like this. "Come on, you can tell the Tugger."

Jemima murmured something, her eyes firmly fixed on the ground, and blushing even more furiously than before, if that was possible.

"Didn't quite catch that," said Tugger, leaning in closer.

"So I can be alone with Misto," she whispered again.

Understanding finally dawned on the Rum Tum Tugger. "Oh, I see. I still don't think-"

"What's all this?" It was Bombalurina herself, sauntering over and looking curiously from Jemima to Tugger.

"Oh, nothing really. Jemima was just wondering if she could switch parts with me." Tugger moved to put an arm around the scarlet queen's shoulders, but she neatly sidestepped out of the way. "Don't worry," he added. "I was just about to explain why that wouldn't work."

Jemima looked downcast. Bomba ignored the tom and turned to her. "Why did you want to switch places with Tugger, Jemi?"  
Jemima sighed. She had told Tugger, she might as well tell Bomba as well. "I wanted a part where I could be with Misto."

"Oh, that's so sweet!" cried Bomba. Then she rounded on Tugger her eyes flashing. "And you won't trade with her?" She cuffed him over the head. "I thought Mistoffelees was your friend! You're just a stuck up, self centered-"

The Rum Tum Tugger was now very confused. He did know, however, that he did not want to risk any more of Bombalurina's wrath. "Ok, ok, she can have the part! But I still don't see how it'll work. And what about us?"

Bomba glared icily at him. "I'll make it work." She then turned to Jemima, a warm smile on her face. "Come on, you and I have some planning to do." With that, she took the younger queen by the paw and led her off across the junkyard, leaving behind a very confused Tugger. The big, dark cat shook his head. He would never understand queens.

***

"Hey, psst, Tugger, over here."

"Misto?" Rum Tum Tugger turned in the direction of the voice. The little tuxedo cat sat in his pipe looking, the Tugger thought, as if he was trying not to be sick. He walked over and crouched down by the entrance of the pipe. "Misto? Are you all right?"

Mistoffelees shook his head. "They cast me in the lead part, Tugger! What am I going to do? I thought I would end up playing Gandalf, you know, because of my magic, but Old Deuteronomy is playing Gandalf, and I'm not going to argue with Munkustrap about this. I don't really mind dancing in front of people so much, or doing magic, but-"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down," Tugger told his friend. This must really be upsetting him. Mistoffelees only ever talked that much when he was very nervous about something. "It'll be all right. You've performed in front of people before."

"But not like this!"

Tugger sighed. That was true. The songs and dances of the Jellicle balls were spontaneous, a deep and mystical expression of a cat's innermost emotions brought on by the light of the Jellicle moon. Tugger could see how a rehearsed performance on film would frighten the shy tom badly. "Look, Misto, I'm sure you'll do fine. Whoever gave you the part obviously thought you could do it."

"Or else they were just trying to embarrass me."

"Who would do that?"

Mistoffelees shrugged moodily. "You're right, I suppose."

Tugger nodded, then remembered something. "Say, Misto, what would you think if someone else had my part, say Jemima, for example."

Misto's nose and cheeks went pink and he smiled weakly. "I can't say I wouldn't like it, but I'd probably be about ten times as embarrassed as I am now."

Uh oh…

"I'm glad it's you playing Sam," the little black cat went on, "even though I know it's really not your type of part. If it was anyone else, I'd probably trip over my own tail. At least we're together in this."

Tugger grinned and shoved him affectionately. "Together all the way. I promise." Not that Misto would _ever_ trip over his own tail, but he was obviously worried about this performance. Tugger would just have to tell Bomba and Jemima this wouldn't work. He gave the young tom a last encouraging grin and went off to find Bomba.

***

"Oh, Tugger, there you are."

Ah, just who he was looking for. Bomba. "Bomba, about this part switching thing, it won't"

"I just wanted to tell you how sweet it is for you to do this for Jemi and Misto. She's so excited. I wouldn't have thought it possible, but it seems you might actually have a heart after all," she purred. She hadn't heard a word he said!

The red queen took a step closer to him and brushed against him. "I just might reconsider that offer you made me the other evening." She smiled enticingly at him and turned and left. Tugger watched her retreating form. He had a _big_ problem on his paws. A _really_ big problem.

Munkustrap surveyed the junkyard. Everyone seemed to have there scripts and be getting used to their parts. "All right," he called, "let's get started!"

~~~

Yay, I started! Ok, I couldn't get all the cats into this little opening scene, but they all have their parts to play. Also, any character bashing that may occur is completely unintentional. I love all of these characters. That's why I'm writing fanfiction about them. Well, please read and review. :)

__

~UDW


	2. Prologue

Note: Okay, this is going to be a mixture of movie and books. The first part of this chapter is in regular narrative form, the rest is in movie script format. Actions will be in **bold**. Enjoy. :)

~~~

"All right everyone, are we ready?" asked Munkustrap of the dozen or so cats gathered around. They all nodded. "Okay then, places everyone."

The cats all scurried to where they belonged. Munkustrap grabbed one of them by the arm in passing. "Admetus, do you know where the Rumpus Cat is? He's supposed to be in this part."

The grey tom shrugged, a shifty look in his eyes. "I don't know. Why would you ask me?"

"I just thought-"

"Well, I don't know where he is, but I'm sure he'll show up in time for his part."

Munkustrap sighed. "Well, if you say so. Hey, Misto," he called to the tuxedo cat, who was still crouched in his pipe, "Could you come help us with the special effects?"

Mistoffelees nodded and walked over.

"All right, Skimble, is the sound equipment all ready?"

"Aye, ready an' waitin' tae go."

Munkustrap nodded. "Then… Action!"

***

The Lord of the Cats

Prologue

****

The screen is dark.

VICTORIA (v.o.)- Mew meow meow purr… (The world is changed)

Mrrow meow mew mew… (I feel it in the water)

Mrrow meow mew row… (I feel it in the earth)

Mew row meow mew meow… (I smell it in the air)

Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it.

It began with the making of the great collars. Three were given to the Jellicles, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the ferals, great foragers of the alleyways. And nine, nine collars were gifted to the strays, who above all else desire power. For within these collars was bound the strength and-

ALONZO (v.o.)- Hey, Misto, aren't we supposed to have some scenery showing about now?

MISTO (v.o.)- I guess, but why are you asking me?

ALONZO (v.o.)- Because you're in charge of the special effects!

MISTO (v.o.)- Scenery doesn't have anything to do with special effects! Where's Exotica?

EXOTICA (v.o.)- Whoops, sorry I'm late.

VICTORIA (v.o.)- Do you guys mind?

ALONZO, MISTO, and EXOTICA (v.o.)- Sorry.

****

A scene of the junkyard appears, followed by random views of different parts of London.

VICTORIA (v.o.)- For within these collars was bound the strength and will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another collar was made.

In the land of Manchester, in the shop of Pets 'n Things, the Dark Lord Simon made in secret a master collar to control all others, and into this collar he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all life.

****

Shot of a tall human in a lab coat standing in a pet shop holding a simple black collar.

One collar to rule them all.

POUNCIVAL (v.o.)- How much longer does this part last?

MUNKUSTRAP, ALONZO, and VICTORIA (v.o.)- Shhhhh!

****

Wild cats running through the streets terrorizing other cats.

VICTORIA (v.o.)- One by one, the free towns of England fell to the power of the collar. But there were some who resisted.

****

An army of Jellicles and Strays are seen in the park

A last alliance of Jellicles and Strays marched against the armies of Manchester, and outside of Pets 'n Things they fought for the freedom of England.

****

Pollicles attack the Jellicles and Strays. Big Fight.

Victory was near, but the power of the collar could not be undone.

****

Simon steps out of Pets 'n Things carrying a baseball bat, the collar wrapped around his wrist. He swings the bat at a group of Jellicles, knocking them away. A leader of the Strays attacks, but Simon throws him against the wall. Admetus runs to him. Simon comes and stands over him.

It was in this moment, when all hope faded, that Admetus, son of the leader, slashed at Simon.

****

Simon reaches down to grab Admetus. Admetus slashes his hand down to the bone and Simon drops the collar. Simon screams, scaring off all the Pollicles, and runs off.

Simon, the enemy of the free cats of England, was defeated. The collar passed to Admetus, who had this one chance to destroy it forever.

****

Admetus reaches out and picks up the collar.

But the hearts of Strays are easily corrupted, and the collar of power had a will of its own.

****

We see Admetus walking through a park with some other Strays, the collar wrapped around his wrist. They are ambushed by Pollicles.

It betrayed Admetus to his death.

ADMETUS- Hey! No fair!

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- Admetus…

ADMETUS- Fine.

****

Admetus puts on the collar and runs towards a river.

EXOTICA (v.o.)- Psst, Misto!

MISTO (v.o.)- Oh, right.

****

Admetus disappears, but we see paw prints heading to the river and a splash as Admetus jumps in. Admetus re-appears as the collar comes unclipped. Admetus reaches for it, but a Pollicle jumps on his back.

ADMETUS (v.o.)- Hey!

****

We see Admetus floating down the river face down and dead, his back heavily slashed by the Pollicle. The collar sinks to the bottom of the river.

ADMETUS (v.o.)- Is that all I get to do?

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- I believe so, yes.

ADMETUS (v.o.)- No fair!

EXOTICA (v.o.)- What if we give him a few flashback sequences?

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- Hmm, all right. What do you say, Admetus?

ADMETUS (v.o.)- Well, OK.

VICTORIA (v.o., loudly)- And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend, legend became myth, and for two and a half thousand years-

POUNCIVAL (v.o.)- Wow!

VICTORIA (v.o.)- Pounce, quiet! For two and a half thousand years, the collar passed out of all knowledge, until, when the chance came, it ensnared a new barer.

****

A grey paw pats the collar.

RUMPUS CAT- Oooh, Precious!

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- *sigh…*

VICTORIA (v.o.)- The ring came to the Rumpus Cat, who took it deep into the tunnels of the underground, and there it consumed him.

****

The Rumpus cat is shown sitting on a crate by the subway tracks, playing with the collar.

RUMPUS- It came to me. It's mine. My precious. Yup.

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- _Sigh…_

VICTORIA (v.o.)- The collar brought to Rumpus unnatural long life.

RUMPUS- Neat!

VICTORIA (v.o.)- For five hundred years it poisoned his mind.

POUNCIVAL (v.o.)- Wow!

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- _SIGH…_

VICTORIA (v.o.)- Pounce! And in the gloom of Rumpus's tunnel, it waited. Darkness crept back into the forests of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the east, whispers of a nameless fear, and the collar of power perceived. Its time had come. It abandoned Rumpus.

****

The collar falls off Rumpus's box onto the tracks.

But something happened the collar did not expect. It was picked up by the unlikeliest creature imaginable.

ELECTRA (v.o.)- *snicker*

****

A young Bustopher Jones bends over and picks up the collar.

BUSTOPHER- What's this?

VICTORIA (v.o.)- A cat. Bustopher Jones of the junkyard.

BUSTOPHER- A collar?

RUMPUS- Oh, drat. Where'd it go?

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- I give up.

****

Bustopher folds the collar, puts it in his pocket, and walks off.

ELECTRA (v.o., quietly)- Hehehe…

MISTO (v.o.)- No, wait, Munku! Don't go! There's no way we can do this without you.

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- I was just going to get the props for the next scene, Misto.

MISTO (v.o)- Oh.

EXOTICA (v.o.)- Pounce, don't touch that!

POUNCEIVAL (v.o.)- Hehehe

VICTORIA (v.o.)- Guys, please be quiet. I only have one line left!

POUNCIVAL (v.o.)- So go ahead and say it.

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- Pouncival…

VICTORIA (v.o.)- For the time will soon come when cats will shape the fortunes of all. So there!

****

There is a loud crash, and the scenery turns upside-down before the screen suddenly goes dark.

EVERYONE (v.o.)- Pouncival!

~~~

A special thanks to my reviewers. I love reviews. ^_^

Mungo/Teazer: My first reviewer, thank you. Here's more. :)

Narsil: hehe, All shall be revealed in time. Casting this was the first thing I did. Most parts fell into place fairly easily, but I had an absurdly difficult time casting Tugger. Every single part I imagined him in seemed ridiculous. I'll drop this little bit of info, though. When nearly all parts but four had been filled, I had four cats left without parts to choose from: Tugger, Jemima, Electra, and Etcetera. The four parts were, in no particular order, Sam, Legolas, Gimli, and Eowyn. Make of that what you will. :D ;)


	3. A Long Expected Party

VICTORIA (v.o.)- Text: The Fellowship of the Collar.

****

Text: The Fellowship of the Collar

ALONZO (v.o.)- Umm, I don't think you were supposed to say that part.

VICTORIA (v.o.)- Oops.

****

Text: The Junkyard… 60 years later

****

We see a map of England

BUSTOPHER JONES (v.o.)- The 22nd day of September in the year 1400, by Junkyard reckoning.

POUNCIVAL (v.o.)- Junkyard reckoning?

ELECTRA (v.o.)- Well, he can't very well say Shire reckoning.

POUNCIVAL (v.o.)- Oh.

BUSTOPHER JONES (v.o.)- The Pipe, er, St. James's Street, the big pile of rubbish on the left, the west corner of the Junkyard, the Junkyard. The third age of this world.

SKIMBLESHANKS (v.o.)- Well, that was… interesting. Munkustrap, I suppose you didn't write the lines either?

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- Er…

****

We see a view of the old pipe. Bustopher is sitting next to it on a hat, writing.

BUSTOPHER JONES- There and Back Again: A Cat's Tail, By Bustopher Jones

ELECTRA (v.o.)- hehehe

Now, where to begin? Ah, yes. "Concerning cats."

Cats have been living and dancing in the Junkyard for many hundreds of years, quite content to ignore and be ignored by the world of the humans.

****

Some more scenes of the Junkyard, cats playing.

England being, after all, full of strange creatures beyond count, cats must seem of little importance-

POUNCIVAL (v.o.)- Hmph.

BUSTOPHER JONES- being neither renowned as great warriors nor counted among the very wise.

****

Shot of Cassandra arguing with Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer about her part. We hear knocking.

BUSTOPHER- Misto! Someone at the door?

****

Bustopher looks around for a door. As he is sitting outside, he finds none. He shrugs and continues writing.

BUSTOPHER- In fact, it has been remarked by some that cats' only real passion is for food. A rather unfair observation, as we have also developed a keen interest in catnapping and caterwauling.

POUNCIVAL (v.o.)- Not to mention catnip.

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- Pouncival!

BUSTOPHER- But where are hearts truly lie is in peace and quiet and good tilled earth. For all cats share a love of things that grow.

SKIMBLESHANKS (v.o.)- No offense, laddy, but that doesna sound much like us.

****

View of Jemima gardening

MISTO (v.o.)- Jemima!?

ELECTRA (v.o.)- Gardening!?

EXOTICA (v.o.)- I really wish you guys would be quiet. I'm trying to film, here.

MISTO (v.o.)- But what-

TUGGER (v.o.)- Sorry I'm late. What'd I miss?

MISTO (v.o.)- Tugger! What's-

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- Do you think maybe you two could discuss this later? Exotica's right, we're trying to film.

BUSTOPHER- And yes, no doubt to others our ways seem quaint. But today of all days, it is brought home to me: it is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.

****

Cats raising a banner reading "Happy Birthday Bustopher Jones"

Knocking sound again.

BUSTOPHER- Misto, the door!

****

Bustopher looks around for a door again and shakes his head, then shrugs.

BUSTOPHER- Sticklebacks, where is that kit? Misto!

****

The scene shifts, and we see Misto sitting alone in a far corner of the junkyard practicing magic. Suddenly he pauses, looks up, and smiles. We see Old Deuteronomy walking slowly towards the Junkyard.

DEUTERONOMY (singing)- Well, of all things, can it be really? Yes, no, oh hi oh, my eye! My mind may be wandering, but I confess, I believe it is Old Deuteronomy…

****

Misto runs towards him across the Junkyard.

MISTO- Old Deuteronomy!

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- Wrong line, Misto.

****

Misto looks embarrassed.

MISTO- Er, I mean, you're late!

DEUTERONOMY (sternly)- The Jellicle leader is never late, Mistoffelees. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

****

Old Deuteronomy smiles fondly at Misto, who happily jumps into his arms.

MISTO- It's wonderful to see you, Deuteronomy!

DEUTERONOMY (still smiling)- You didn't think I'd miss your Uncle Bustopher's birthday?

****

Misto grins and falls into step beside him.

DEUTERONOMY- So, how is the old rascal? I hear it's going to be a party of special magnificence.

MISTO- You know Bustopher. Half the Junkyard's been invited.

ELECTRA (v.o.)- Half the Junkyard? That's not really that many, when you think about it.

POUNCIVAL (v.o.)- Yeah. You'd have thought he'd have invited all of us.

EXOTICA (v.o.)- You guys! Please!

MISTO (loudly)- And the rest of them are turning up anyway!

POUNCIVAL (v.o.)- Oh, well, that's okay then. But he still should have invited everyone to begin with.

EXOTICA (v.o.) Arg!

****

We hear sounds of stomping, and the camera stops following Deuteronomy and Misto. The two of them walk off the screen, while the scene stays focused on an old bicycle wheel.

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- Exotica, come back!

BUSTOPHER (v.o.)- And so, life in the Junkyard very much as it always has, full of its own comings and goings with change coming slowly, if it comes at all.

****

The camera remains focused on the wheel.

BUSTOPHER (v.o.)- For things are made to endure in the Junkyard, passing from one generation to the next. There's always been a tuxedo cat living here in the pipe.

EXOTICA (v.o.)- Oh, all right. But Munku, _please_ make everyone be quiet backstage. I'm trying to film.

****

The scene abruptly switches back to Bustopher, who is still sitting and writing.

BUSTOPHER- And there always will be.

****

Scene moves back to Misto and Deuteronomy who are still walking slowly through the Junkyard.

MISTO- To tell you the truth, Bustopher's been a bit odd lately. I mean, more than usual.

POUNCIVAL (v.o.)- *snicker*

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- Shhhhh….

MISTO- He's taken to… Er, Locking himself in his study? Munkustrap, there isn't even a door! Yes but- Oh, all right. He spends hours poring over old maps and things when he thinks I'm not looking.

****

Bustopher looks around for a map.

BUSTOPHER- Where's it gone?

SKIMBLE (v.o.)- Ah, I think you're supposed tae be lookin' for the collar, Bustopher.

BUSTOPHER- Ah yes. Where has it gone?

****

Bustopher looks all around the pipe for the collar. Finally he finds it under the hat and sits down again, relieved. Scene switches back to Misto and Deuteronomy.

MISTO- He's up to something.

****

Deuteronomy shrugs.

MISTO- All right then, keep your secrets. But I know you have something to do with it.

DEUTERONOMY- Good gracious me.

MISTO- Before you came along- Munkustrap! I can't do this!

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- *sigh* Just say the lines, Misto.

MISTO (embarrassed)- Before you came along, we cats were very well thought of.

DEUTERONOMY (smiling encouragingly at Misto)- Indeed.

MISTO- Never had any adventures of did anything unexpected.

DEUTERONOMY- If you're referring to the incident with the airplane, I was barely involved. All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out the door.

ALONZO (v.o., whispering)- Incident with the airplane? What was that?

****

We hear what sounds like Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer humming innocently.

MISTO- Whatever you did, you've been officially labeled a disturber of the peace.

DEUTERONOMY- Oh really?

****

A group of kittens come running up eagerly and rub affectionately against Deuteronomy.

KITTENS- Fireworks, Old Deuteronomy! Fireworks.

****

Deuteronomy smiles at them, but does nothing. Misto looks at him inquiringly. Deuteronomy glances down at Misto with a raised eyebrow. No one does anything, and the kittens start looking board.

MUNKUSTRAP (v.o.)- Misto!

MISTO- What?

****

Exotica comes running onto stage and whispers something to Misto, Deuteronomy, and the kittens. Then leaves.

KITTENS- Fireworks, Misto! Fireworks.

****

Deuteronomy glances down at Misto inquiringly. Misto rubs his hands together, then turns and launches some small "fireworks" out of his fingers.

KITTENS- Yay!

MISTO- Old Deuteronomy? I'm glad you're back

DEUTERONOMY- So am I, dear kit. So am I.

****

A yelp is heard from off stage.

CASSANDRA (v.o.)- Misto! Get over here and put these out!

MISTO (v.o.)- Oh Cassandra, I'm sorry!

TUGGER (v.o.)- Misto, you really have to learn to aim those things a bit better.

****

Smoke briefly obscures the screen before it goes dark.

~~~

Notes: Okay, sorry it took so long to get this next bit uploaded. I got hit by the last week of school (papers due week) followed by finals week.

To reviewers: Thank you all so much! *bounces* I love reviews. I read them all, and they really make my day. I'm so glad people are enjoying this. I do fully intend to carry it through to the end of Return of the King, which I _finally_ get to see this Tuesday/Thursday. Midnight viewing! Yay!


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